What did you want to be when you were little? We all had big dreams and many of us were told we could be and do anything we could think of. I was pretty sure being born in suburbia USA that I wasn't destined to be the princess of some far off country but as a little girl I'm sure I dreamed of being a Cinderella. As I grew up I found other things I wanted to be. They included a ballerina, an author, an olympic gymnast, an airline pilot, a concert pianist and in the back of my mind I thought about having some freak accident involving gamma radiation or discovering I have a mutant gene so I could be strong, fly and be a superhero like Rogue from the X-MEN but without that cool southern accent (I left the obvious ones- WIFE and MOTHER- out, though truly that's what I wanted to be more than anything else). Then life happened. I grew up and realized that those things were probably not high on the statistical probability list of 'Things Laura Will Be When She's Grown Up'. As a child, the process of aging itself seemed to take forever. I remember watching Disney's Robin Hood and hearing Skippy the bunny rabbit celebrate his 8th birthday and thought, 'Wow, eight years old! I want to be eight!' LOL! So long ago! Now I'm more than 4 times that and it's taken a long time to sort out exactly what I wanted to be. Now I have a much clearer idea. I've decided that what I want to be doesn't necessarily have a title. I've long abandoned the idea of identifying myself through a profession, marital status or even whether I'm a mother or not (though this one still crops up more than I'd like). It took a lot of hard knocks growing up to realize that I can't really do anything about the fact that I'm not a princess or a professional singer or the President of the United States (which thankfully I haven't dreamed of being for many years). I only have limited abilities and talents, though I do believe that persistent work and practice will enhance one's abilities and they may end up going farther than they thought with those specific talents. The fact is that most of us in the world don't end up being very special or prominent or powerful. We just end up in varying degrees of normal. And that's okay. For many of us, what we really have the most influence over is our choices. In that immortal series "Harry Potter" by J.K. Rowling, Professor Dumbledore tries to teach Harry that lesson by telling him, "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Hmm...in that case, I think I want to choose to be a witch and go to Hogwarts...oh, come on, I can't be the only one who wants this. In fact I know I'm not! Harry Potter rules!
But, I digress. Back to choices...real ones.
So what choices do I have about my life? I can choose many things including what I eat, drive, do for leisure activities and much choice over what areas I choose to study and learn, but I think the most important thing for me to consciously choose is who I want to be. I've spent many nights pondering over this. It's taken thought, study and prayer to come up with a better understanding of myself.
I guess that really does make me a Princess!
Score! One dream down...
After a long journey I realized that who I was is a daughter of God. That may sound trite, but it was really when I understood this and that He loved me and wanted to help me and cared about who I was and who I would become that I figured out who I am. In the Bible Dictionary in the scriptures it says under the heading of Prayer: 'As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part. Many of the so called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship.' I think this goes for more than just prayer. Once I figured out that I was a child of God I could more clearly see myself and therefore get to know myself. I was better able to identify my characteristics and personality and accept them, both the good and the bad. I learned a lot about my limitations and about who I ultimately wanted to become. And the answer is fairly simple. I want to be like Jesus Christ. Yeah...that will take a lot of work, to say the least, but I believe it's possible. I've already changed certain things about myself to more closely follow his pattern of personal righteousness, so I know it's possible. It's just so far away most days that it still feels like the light at the end of the tunnel.
I started off this post today with a different idea of what I wanted to write. It ended up as what I imagine will now take a few different posts to cover the things I've been thinking about. So here's some thoughts. Who are you? What are you thoughts, core principles and priorities? How are you able and willing to deal with challenges and adversely with prosperity and good times? What things are you exceptional at and what are you limitations? And what can you do with them? I think it's time I had another check in with myself as well. Until next time.
Here's one more: In The Meantime by Providence
I don't relate to the busy mom aspect, but I do relate to the busy life and the wondering if constantly living the daily grind is enough and to the wanting more in life. Beautiful Song.
What did you want to be when you were little? We all had big dreams and many of us were told we could be and do anything we could think of. I was pretty sure being born in suburbia USA that I wasn't destined to be the princess of some far off country but as a little girl I'm sure I dreamed of being a Cinderella. As I grew up I found other things I wanted to be. They included a ballerina, an author, an olympic gymnast, an airline pilot, a concert pianist and in the back of my mind I thought about having some freak accident involving gamma radiation or discovering I have a mutant gene so I could be strong, fly and be a superhero like Rogue from the X-MEN but without that cool southern accent (I left the obvious ones- WIFE and MOTHER- out, though truly that's what I wanted to be more than anything else). Then life happened. I grew up and realized that those things were probably not high on the statistical probability list of 'Things Laura Will Be When She's Grown Up'.
