An Arrival, Gravity and God's Math

Mike and baby Harper

     Two new things happened this week.  First of all, my niece Harper was born.  My younger brother Mike is now a first time father.  It was so touching to see Mike so thrilled at holding his little baby girl.  I went to the hospital and held her for a short while.  She was so good being passed around to the few of us that were there, without crying.  She has her mother Wendy's hands and a little bit of dark hair.
     I have been truly excited for Mike.  He is so good with kids and will be an excellent father.  But at the same time I can't pretend not to notice the minor stab of jealousy and fear that come with this birth.  All of my younger siblings are adults and any of them could have been having children before now.  But they haven't.  This is the first.  And I realize that I'm now being passed up.  Younger people than me are having babies all the time, but this one is the first in my family.  

The baby blanket I crocheted for Harper

     The second thing that happened this week is that Lyle and I received a notice from the adoption agency.  It has been 1 year since we started the approval process and they need us to resubmit our criminal background checks and redo our finance worksheet so they can continue to keep us as a prospective adoptive couple.  If we don't do these things within the month we will be taken off their lists.
     I try not to focus on the fact that I have to qualify to be a parent.  Most people don't have to have 3 fire extinguishers in their house in order have a child.  Or be interviewed with intimate questions about relationships and psychological questions to make sure they're not crazy.  Or compete with hundreds of other couples for one child.  
     Most of the time I do fine but the question is always just beneath the surface: will it ever be my turn?

Elder Shayne M. Bowen

     Sunday was stake conference.  Elder Shayne Bowen from the first quorum of the seventies spoke to us.  He took his scriptures and asked us as an audience to identify the principle he was going to show to us.  He then let go of the book and it fell loudly on the pulpit.  We softly answered: gravity.  Gravity is one of God's principles.  He picked the scriptures back up and repeated the action a few more times asking how often we thought the same principle would work.  Would the book float the next time?  Each time, as expected, the scriptures fell on the pulpit.  Of course gravity was going to work the same way over and over again.  It's one of God's principles and they are eternal and unchanging.  He wanted to know if we thought it was important to understand how gravity worked?  Yes it is.  If you're on the top of a thirty story building and standing near the edge, it would be very useful to know how gravity works.
     He read a scripture from D&C 130:20-21: There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.
     The lesson here is this: obedience is also one of God's laws; it's eternal and unchanging.  It's important for us to know how it works as well.  And we are told by God that when we obey we will receive blessings.  
     Laurel Christensen spoke at Time Out For Women this year about this very thing.  The principle she was trying to relay was: Trust the Math.  She had worked hard last year to lose weight.  She started eating less and exercising more and created a spreadsheet to chart her progress.  And sure enough, when the chart said she should be 1.2 lbs up, she was 1.2 lbs up.  If it said she should lose .8 lbs, she lost .8 lbs.  The weight didn't always show in the same week, but eventually it caught up.  It was simple math.  Calories in- calories out.
     Then she quoted the same scripture that Elder Bowen did and added another: D&C 82:10 which says, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

Laurel Christensen

     She talked about how we're all waiting for something and how in our times of waiting we needed to trust the math.  Math is one of God's laws too.  And in these scriptures God himself tells us that He has to bless us when we obey.  We don't always know what laws go with what blessings, but if we keep the commandments he cannot keep blessings from us.  Basic math: obedience in- blessings out.
     However, they may not show up the time we expect them to.  So what do we do while we wait?  Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."  This means that when we're obedient to His laws we have the right to ask Him for what we need during our period of waiting.  
     Note: One thing that would help me in my time of need is patience.  Another is gratitude.  I'm going to ask Heavenly Father to grant those to me as I wait.

Me and Harper

     Laurel's final advice was this: stop worrying about things you can't control like timing, the agency of others or the plan God has in place for your life and put the focus on what you can control which is your obedience and your worthiness to receive personal revelation and blessings. They will come.  Trust God's Math.
     Elder Bowen ended his talk with a promise as well: if we keep the commandments and are obedient, the Lord would give us all the necessities of life and the riches of heaven and that all that God has will be ours.
    Hmm...God has an awful lot of children.  I'm not sure if I want quite that many.  But I'll be thankful to take the ones that will come.  Will it ever be my turn to be a mother?  Well, I'm doing my best to keep the commandments.  The answer is yes, I will.  I just need to wait for this blessing to catch up.