What's New

     I meant to blog last week but it's been such a busy week it just didn't get done.  What a slacker, huh?  So what's up, Buttercup?  Well, I'll tell you.
     Last Friday, Lyle and I had our Home Study done to finish off the foster care process we've been working on for months.  They spent 3 hours doing interviews with us about our backgrounds and families and personalities, etc.  Then they inspected the house (that part only took 1/2 hour).  The verdict: we passed!  Yeah!  I never really thought we'd fail, but it's relieving all the same to have it over and done with...to be inspected as responsible adults, questioned about your marriage, personal problems, family struggles and more then to have someone look at your house to decide whether it's good enough for a child to be placed with you is nerve racking.  Honestly, the whole process is intrusive and uncomfortable, and it still rankles a bit that I have to 'qualify' to be a mother when...others...don't, but so be it.  We passed and they will be sending us our official Foster Parent License in another week or so.  Then DCFS will be contact us within a couple weeks after that (if they're board approves us, which we've no reason to think they won't) and then the process will begin to match us with a child.
    How do I feel about this you ask?  Nervous.  Every time so far we've been what we feel is close to having a child (medications and procedures, trying to adopt a baby through another agency) we've always come so close only for the chance to be snatched away from us and we're back at Square One again.  I don't know why this time it would turn out the same way, but I can't say I'm not afraid of it happening even if it's not likely.  I'm also nervous if it DOES work.  That means a new child in our life, which means figuring out day care when the child is not at school and we're both at work, finding out how what he's been through affects his moods and how to cope with the problems of a child we don't know, figuring out how to incorporate him/her into our family, giving equal care to each child (though Annie and Taylor don't live with us full time and this new child won't be either of ours biologically), trying to bond with a child who's already been hurt, abandoned or neglected by other parents, and so on and so on.
     Do I feel ready?  Sort of!  Do I feel capable of dealing with these new challenges?  Maybe!  Do I have any idea what I'm actually doing?  Probably not!... but here we go anyway...
    In other news, check out our new ride!  Both of our cars are old and falling apart and we had decided a month or two ago that we need a new one.  It wasn't what we were originally looking for, but we're happy with it.  Rides nice, power everything, 6 CD disc changer (yes, I'm an old fogey and I still listen to some of my CDs), smells like a new car, it's CLEAN!  I love new cars (well, new to us anyway)...however, I am less enamored with the new car payments.  C'est la vie!  Can't have the good without the bad, right?  No, seriously, can you?  If so, I'd really like to figure out how to eat donuts and not gain weight.
     Speaking of the good with the bad...when we were buying the vehicle we were talking with the salesman about the financing.  We had help from Lyle's parents in the organizing of the loan (he has such great parents!) and when we were talking to him, we of course discussed our credit.  Lyle and I have worked very hard over the years at our finances.  This has meant making sacrifices and not getting things we want, consistently paying a full tithe and other charitable donations, paying off all debt as soon as possible, not spending more than we make, putting any extra money that comes our way to debts, the mortgage or things like life insurance and food storage, not eating out or going to less movies, etc.  As a consequence we have been blessed financially and we also have very good credit.  I heard myself saying to the salesman that it had been hard work to get our credit so high and I guess I hadn't really realized that it's taken years of self denial and discipline but that the long term consequences of those choices we've made have improved our lives and made it easier now to buy a new car and most likely pay it off in closer to half the time of the length of the loan.
     It's true that sometimes I look at others and think, 'Why is it that they get almost everything they want if they cheat or steal or make irresponsible choices, while I who work hard to be dependable and mature, to be a 'good girl' and keep the commandments to the best of my ability...including being frugal and living within our means, frequently go without?'  Though it still sometimes bothers me, I look at the choices I have made and I'm proud that I've worked so hard to do what I think is right and thankfully, I am reminded of it at times like this.
     Sacrifice, it seems, is good for the soul.
    "The submission of one's will is placing on God's altar the only uniquely personal thing one has to place there.  The many other things we 'give' are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us.'  Elder Neal A. Maxwell
     So here's to our years of sacrificing and hard work...right now we're being blessed with a new car and hopefully soon, a new child.  Right now, life feels good!

Love Is In The Air

      I'm reminded all around of love.  I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, stepkids, family, friends, financial stability, health and intelligence, and many things that I enjoy doing...and eating.
     Here's how I've seen the love in my life recently.
     Last week my cousin, Vivian, invited me to attend the ballet with her.  I LOVE the ballet!  When I was young I wanted to be a ballerina.  I took dance classes as a child, even a couple of years of pointe- which is much harder than professional dancers make it look- and was a sophomore cheerleader, on the drill team and the dance company in high school.  I continue dancing today with video games (I'm a LOT less flexible and have less ability now, not to mention having a lot less energy).  I haven't been to the ballet for a while, so I was really excited for this chance to see The Sleeping Beauty with the same music (by Tchaikovsky) that you hear in the Disney movie.  Such a wonderful time!
     Then last Friday night our ward had a Sweethearts dance.  It started with a pasta dinner then we went into the cultural hall for the dance.  It was all decorated with pink and red balloons.  We had an unofficial DJ who played some really good music.  It was so nice to dance with Lyle!  We don't often get the chance.  There was a room set up for the children and there were volunteers to go in there for a half hour to do activities with the kids, although in truth the kids spent just as much time dancing as they did doing the activities set up for them.  There was also a room set up to take pictures with your Valentine.  People got a kick out of one of the pics Lyle and I took.  As usual, Lyle's being a ham and I'm pretending to be annoyed.  I think the photographer showed this one to others in the ward since they commented on how funny we are. I'm so glad we enjoy being together so much.  Lyle's a good husband.
    This past Tuesday the Young Women in our ward had an activity that Annie was actually able to go to- we rarely have her on the day of the week that they have activities.  They went to a bridal shop and tried on wedding dresses.  That's Annie right in the front.  I can't believe how much older it made her look.  She's not a little girl anymore!  It makes me dread how fast time is going.  Someday she's going to be ready to take the step of getting married and while I'm can't wait for that day, I also don't want it to come.  When Lyle picked Annie up from the activity a couple of the girls in the ward were trying to hide her and insisting that Lyle leave Annie with them because they were having so much fun and wanted her to stay.  I almost cried when Lyle told me that.  It means more than I can say to me that the Young Women in our ward are so loving and accepting of Annie.  I know she needs good friends and I'm so happy that there are people in her life who are positive influences and who genuinely enjoy having her around.  Last month they came to our home and 'heart attacked' it for Annie.  I love these girls!  Annie carefully took all of the hearts down and put them  in her room so that she could have them where she could see them...a reminder of how much she is loved.  Thank you for the love and caring you have showed to my daughter, Young Women and Leaders!  You're fabulous!
     Yesterday, Lyle brought home my Valentine's Day present.  Flowers and chocolate truffles.  How can a husband go wrong with that?  The only problem...Lyle and I are currently on our 17 day no carb diet and I can't eat the truffles for another week and a half!  Ah, but they'll be worth it once I can enjoy them.  In the meantime, I can bask in the glow of the feeling I get when my husband brings me flowers.  My present to him is two parts.  For the first part: candy (that he can't eat for a week and a half), a coupon for a free massage and something even better...my own words of love.  Taylor's cell broke a couple of months ago.  Lyle found an old one that still worked and gave it to him.  Last month Taylor told me that there were texts from me to Lyle from way back when we were dating that Lyle had saved on that phone and forgotten about.  So I typed them up in a love note to give to him this Valentine's Day which was Taylor's idea...and a good one at that!  For the second part: on Monday night (we have the kids this weekend so I'll wait for our time as a couple), I'm making our dining room into a restaurant and fixing dinner for him.  Then I'm going to present him with the bill- to be paid in affection instead of money.  Then we're going to play the Newlywed Game to cap off the evening.
     My mom also gave me a Valentine's Day present: those chocolate covered pretzels with nuts from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.  I love my mom!  She's someone who deserves a great Valentine's day.  I bought her a book for her present...which she'll get late since she flew yesterday to visit her brother and sister-in-law in Arizona.
     Ah!  I'll have so much yummy things to eat when I get off my diet that I'll have to be sure not to send myself into a diabetic coma from the sugar rush I'll get (oh, but what a way to go)!.  And I'm pretty sure that all these yummy things will directly counteract the diet itself!  Well, darn.  So goes life.
     The last thing I have to say about love in my life has to do with my calling: primary music chorister.  Last Sunday the presidency and I went to a stake meeting.  Representatives from the Priesthood Department for the Church were there.  Our stake, along with 2 others, has been selected to do a sort of pilot program.  They have a new format for sharing/singing time that they want to test out...which we'll start this Sunday and continue for 6 weeks.  After listening to  people from the priesthood dept, I'm really excited to try this new format!  It includes more singing time than we have now (YES!) and replaces the gospel instruction by a presidency member with the children sharing their gospel experiences.  I think it's possible that this will help the kids tie together what they learn in class, home and in sharing time together and help them experience the Lord's love in a more focused way.  And it gives me more time with the kids!  We'll see how it goes.  I plead the Lord blesses us with the help we'll need to teach the children.  I love my calling!

     That's all for today, but come back next week to hear about how the adoption process is going... I'll have news!

     Love to all and Happy Valentine's Day!!