What's New

     I meant to blog last week but it's been such a busy week it just didn't get done.  What a slacker, huh?  So what's up, Buttercup?  Well, I'll tell you.
     Last Friday, Lyle and I had our Home Study done to finish off the foster care process we've been working on for months.  They spent 3 hours doing interviews with us about our backgrounds and families and personalities, etc.  Then they inspected the house (that part only took 1/2 hour).  The verdict: we passed!  Yeah!  I never really thought we'd fail, but it's relieving all the same to have it over and done with...to be inspected as responsible adults, questioned about your marriage, personal problems, family struggles and more then to have someone look at your house to decide whether it's good enough for a child to be placed with you is nerve racking.  Honestly, the whole process is intrusive and uncomfortable, and it still rankles a bit that I have to 'qualify' to be a mother when...others...don't, but so be it.  We passed and they will be sending us our official Foster Parent License in another week or so.  Then DCFS will be contact us within a couple weeks after that (if they're board approves us, which we've no reason to think they won't) and then the process will begin to match us with a child.
    How do I feel about this you ask?  Nervous.  Every time so far we've been what we feel is close to having a child (medications and procedures, trying to adopt a baby through another agency) we've always come so close only for the chance to be snatched away from us and we're back at Square One again.  I don't know why this time it would turn out the same way, but I can't say I'm not afraid of it happening even if it's not likely.  I'm also nervous if it DOES work.  That means a new child in our life, which means figuring out day care when the child is not at school and we're both at work, finding out how what he's been through affects his moods and how to cope with the problems of a child we don't know, figuring out how to incorporate him/her into our family, giving equal care to each child (though Annie and Taylor don't live with us full time and this new child won't be either of ours biologically), trying to bond with a child who's already been hurt, abandoned or neglected by other parents, and so on and so on.
     Do I feel ready?  Sort of!  Do I feel capable of dealing with these new challenges?  Maybe!  Do I have any idea what I'm actually doing?  Probably not!... but here we go anyway...
    In other news, check out our new ride!  Both of our cars are old and falling apart and we had decided a month or two ago that we need a new one.  It wasn't what we were originally looking for, but we're happy with it.  Rides nice, power everything, 6 CD disc changer (yes, I'm an old fogey and I still listen to some of my CDs), smells like a new car, it's CLEAN!  I love new cars (well, new to us anyway)...however, I am less enamored with the new car payments.  C'est la vie!  Can't have the good without the bad, right?  No, seriously, can you?  If so, I'd really like to figure out how to eat donuts and not gain weight.
     Speaking of the good with the bad...when we were buying the vehicle we were talking with the salesman about the financing.  We had help from Lyle's parents in the organizing of the loan (he has such great parents!) and when we were talking to him, we of course discussed our credit.  Lyle and I have worked very hard over the years at our finances.  This has meant making sacrifices and not getting things we want, consistently paying a full tithe and other charitable donations, paying off all debt as soon as possible, not spending more than we make, putting any extra money that comes our way to debts, the mortgage or things like life insurance and food storage, not eating out or going to less movies, etc.  As a consequence we have been blessed financially and we also have very good credit.  I heard myself saying to the salesman that it had been hard work to get our credit so high and I guess I hadn't really realized that it's taken years of self denial and discipline but that the long term consequences of those choices we've made have improved our lives and made it easier now to buy a new car and most likely pay it off in closer to half the time of the length of the loan.
     It's true that sometimes I look at others and think, 'Why is it that they get almost everything they want if they cheat or steal or make irresponsible choices, while I who work hard to be dependable and mature, to be a 'good girl' and keep the commandments to the best of my ability...including being frugal and living within our means, frequently go without?'  Though it still sometimes bothers me, I look at the choices I have made and I'm proud that I've worked so hard to do what I think is right and thankfully, I am reminded of it at times like this.
     Sacrifice, it seems, is good for the soul.
    "The submission of one's will is placing on God's altar the only uniquely personal thing one has to place there.  The many other things we 'give' are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us.'  Elder Neal A. Maxwell
     So here's to our years of sacrificing and hard work...right now we're being blessed with a new car and hopefully soon, a new child.  Right now, life feels good!