Have an Ice Day, Nice Snowin' Ya!

January.  Ah, is there anything like it?  No?  Good.

Oh the joy!

     Does it ever seem to you like all the excitement after the holidays dies down and now we're in a sunless snow filled month with no holidays in sight?  Okay.  Well, there is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, right?  But this January has been colder and bleaker than most in my opinion, weatherwise anyway.  Lots of snow, lots of ice.  

Taylor using the shovel for playtime!

     One of the great joys of homeownership, I've learned is outside work.  In the springtime it's cleaning out the gardens and replanting.  Or if you're like me, looking at everyone else doing that and thinking how I really should get around to doing that.  There's also getting the sprinkling system up and working again after the winter.  And then there's the mowing.  That's a whole story in its own right!  Our lawn is a mutant lawn, I think.  Different parts grow at different lengths and all of them grow faster than the neighbors of course.  And don't even get me started on the weeding!

     But in the winter, the diverting chores (hardy har!) are all about snow and ice.  It snows.  You shovel.  Then it shows some more.  So you shovel some more.  A few weeks ago when we had the really bad snow storm I was out shoveling.  And the snow kept getting stuck to my shovel.  So I kicked the shovel and the snow fell out.  I made the mistake of thinking that this was a good solution.  After much kicking of the shovel (Hey, come on!  There was a ton of shoveling to do!) I finally kicked it so hard that for a minute I thought I had broken my toe.  See here's my gross toe picture.  It really was much worse than it looks in this pic.   (Aren't you glad you showed up at my blog this week?)

     Now in January we've progressed.  Now it's not snow, it's freezing rain and ice.  Many days when I take my lunch break from work I go home and eat since I live close to my work.  Yesterday, I went out and EVERYTHING had ice on it.  I almost fell down like 4 times just walking to my car.  Then I had to scrape all the ice off my windshield and almost fall again getting in to the car.  The roads weren't too bad until you got to my street.  Nobody had salted it yet and it was a complete sheet of ice.  Then I turn into my driveway, which mind you has an incline and -surprise, surprise- is pure ice as well, and I got stuck going up it.  I was kind of scared for a little while.  I finally ended up getting my car into the garage.  I had to sprinkle rock salt all over the driveway and hope that I would be able to get back out so I could return to work.  Which went much better, by the way.

     And haven't you been enjoying the inversion these past few weeks, fellow Salt Lake-ians?  Mmm...just what I love.  Breathing air I can actually see!  Yuncky!  (That's a word my friend made up and we use it.  It means yucky...with a Kick!)

     Ah well, life includes a little sliding every now and then.  Can't have blue skies every day.  Might get kind of boring.

The wonderful Katie and Briant

     I did however escape the Salt Lake air last week.  Lyle and I went to St. George with our friends Briant and Katie.  Briant's parents have a place there so we didn't have to pay for a hotel and we brought food to eat.  People ask what we did while we were there, and to tell you the truth we did almost nothing cool.  It was so relaxing and absolutely blissful!  Briant had a couple of fabulous movies I'd never seen:  The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and Dark and Stormy Night.  All you other stupid movie fans rejoice!  They were excellent.  Lyle doesn't like stupid movies as much as I do, but we did watch a movie just for him too.

Doesn't Lyle look so happy having his picture taken?

     Ah, the dryer is done.  Back to more laundry.  Hope you have a great week and enjoy this...um...very unique weather we've been having!

Laura

Not to Brag, But...

Here's me blowing my own horn!

And now, folks, if you'll put your hands together for, well, ME!   
     I've meant to talk about some of my accomplishments at one point, so now's a good a time as any.  I realize that this might sound a bit prideful, so I've chosen to joke about it so I feel less uncomfortable doing this.  Although I've always struggled with my self worth and confidence, which is something I think may surprise some people, there are a few things in my life I've done that I'm proud of.  And I think I've the need to remind myself of them sometimes.
    I guess the first thing I'll touch on will be my clinical depression.  This is probably another surprise for people who recognize me as a smiling, outgoing person.  It runs in my extended family and I happen to be the recipient of this curse/blessing in my immediate family.  My dad suffered from it so I saw the effects of it first hand growing up.  Though I felt it even as a child it wasn't until I was a teenager that it became a huge problem.  Towards the end of high school it had gotten to the point where I couldn't function on a normal level.  For a number of years afterward it crippled me.  I had a hard time with relationships- it was a contributing factor in the dissolving of my first marriage.  I couldn't do things I wanted to- I was sent home from my mission early because of it.  There was even a suicide attempt.  Sufficed to say, it's been the biggest challenge of my life.  It took time and a great amount of help from the Lord to help me into a place where I realized that I had the power to change it.  I got a good therapist to help me and for the first time in my life forged a relationship with the Savior and with their help learned how to change my whole life, starting with my thinking patterns.  It's the hardest work I've ever done.  But I learned how to manage my depression and this is the thing I'm proudest of myself for.  It's something I'll always struggle with, but I know now where to look for peace and how to look at things differently.

     I graduated from Massage Therapy school.  Not to much after learning how to manage my depression, my sister died from cancer then my first marriage ended in divorce.  About a month later I enrolled in massage therapy school.  I had never gone to college, it wasn't possible for me right after high school.  But I needed something in my life to show myself what I could do.  It was a year long program.  I worked full time during the day and went to classes at night and halfway through the year started with clinicals at the college on weekends too.  It was really tiring but I stuck with it and graduated with a 4.0 from the school.  Though I haven't practiced in the workplace and it's been a long time, I still am proud of the work I put into it to strengthen my confidence that I can do hard things even when times are hard.

     A few months after I graduated from massage school, my mom approached me with a question.  She knew of a coworker who's daughter had kidney failure and needed a kidney.  My mother asked how I would feel about her donating to help this woman.  I was immediately thrilled.  We discussed it and I decided to be tested as well.  We both knew how it was to lose a loved one through disease.  And though Amy died from cancer and no one could have saved her, we knew that if someone would have been able to help her, we would have wanted that more than anything.  And now was our chance to help someone who was dying.  We both went in and were tested.  I ended up being the closes match and in Aug 2003 I gave a kidney to Beth.  It was a very humbling experience.  I know I did something wonderful for her, but I think I got more out of it than she did.  It was one time that I realized I was leaving the world a better place than I had found it.  I felt so blessed to be able to do this for her.  My mom wanted very much to still donate so through Intermountain Donor Services she donated through their Good Samaritan program in 2004.  People who want to donate a kidney but don't know someone who needs it can sign up and be tested.  Then they're able to donate to the person highest on the waiting list who is a match.  My sister Alyson felt strong enough about this as well that in 2007 she also donated through the Good Samaritan program.  If you're interested in learning more please go to: Intermountain Donor Services
     I've always been an active person.  I did dance all through junior high and high school and loved it.  In 2004 a friend approached me about trying out a Tae Kwon Do lesson with her.  I immediately loved it.  A chance to learn new moves with my body at the same time as learning how to defend myself was something I took to well.  I even ended up working for the studio for a few months recruiting and teaching.  It took a couple of years, which is pretty quick actually, and I received my black belt in Tae Kwon Do.  Though it's something I couldn't continue due to money and time, it was something I always loved and will remember for a long time.  It helped remind me of what a blessing it was to have a health body and to appreciate the ability to move it, to some extent, however I chose.  It was also very hard physically.  And it taught me another lesson in sticking something out when it's hard.

     The last accomplishment I guess I'd add is that of being a wife and a stepmom.  After my first failed marriage it was hard to prepare myself to be ready to marry again.  Though I was a different person now, it was a little intimidating thinking of trying to be a different kind of wife this time.  And I chose someone who already had kids.  That changes everything.  It was really difficult learning how to be a mother figure to kids who already had a mother.  It's still a big challenge sometimes.  I've learned a lot about getting along with different personalities through relationships with Lyle, the kids and their mother.  And I've learned lessons in how to love people even if they're not making the decisions you would.  I think this particular lesson will last many more years to come and I'm sure I'll have opportunities to learn much more.

Laura
     

The Ball and Chain

Just Married: Ken and Joan.  Congratulations and here's to a happy life together!

Dad and Joan

     My dad got married on Jan 6th.  It was a nice ceremony.  I met Joan and her son Eric and his family.  I'm happy for my dad.  I can't wait to know my new stepmother better.  Watching them take this step has made me think of my marriage this week.  I've been remembering our dating and certain times and events that were significant right up to the current date.  So I decided to share some fun memories and experiences about my marriage.

Lyle, me, Joan, dad, Wendy and Mike

     On our first date Lyle and I went to an Eclipse Christmas concert.  One of the members of the band was my home teacher and gave me some tickets.  It was really fun.  The first time I met the kids we took them to Jungle Jim's and had a lot of fun playing together.  Boy, those rides say an adult can fit in them, and I did, but it wasn't exactly comfortable.
     I remember our first argument...or what I thought was our first argument.  We'd been dating and had been talking about getting married.  I wanted to make sure Lyle wasn't expecting some stellar super-wife, but a normal person so during the conversation I started telling him all my faults so he would know what he was getting into, potentially, by marrying me.  The conversation went a little along the lines of:

Laura: I'm not perfect and I don't want you thinking I am.  Then you'll be disappointed.  I can be pretty mean sometimes.

Lyle: I love you so much.

Laura: No, really.  I have bad PMS and I'm really grumpy in the morning.  And I have a temper too!  And I don't like people telling me what to do, either.

Lyle:  You're so wonderful!

Laura: I swear when I'm mad!  And sometimes when I'm mad I don't talk at all, or I get up and leave and go somewhere else or if you bother me enough I'll start yelling!

Lyle: I can't wait to marry you!

     I realized that I was going to have to trust that Lyle was still going to love me when I wasn't at my best.  Thank goodness, he has.  After the argument Lyle sat me in his lap and sang a song to me.  Not a love song.  I'm not sure why he sang Peter, Paul and Mary's "The Lemon Tree" to me since it actually talks about a father coaching his son not to trust in love, but ever since he did that, it's been one of my favorite songs.  My husband can sing, but he can't keep in tune.  And I absolutely love it when he sings to me!  He doesn't need to sound like an angelic choir, because when he sings to me I know he loves me.  And that's all that matters.  Besides, it's kind of cute when he's singing and he changes pitches in the middle of the song (multiple times) without meaning to.

     Lyle is SUCH a teaser.  He loves to tease me and the kids.  That's hard for some people to picture.  He can be shy when he first meets somebody and sometimes can come off as standoffish or somber but he really isn't. 

     He's super smart.  He does well with numbers, so he's constantly adding/multiplying/dividing/figuring percentages for numbers large enough that I would need a calculator or at least a paper and pencil to figure it out.  He's good with computers too.  He is constantly helping me, his parents, my mom, etc with computer problems.  

A typical response when Lyle's teasing me and I'm starting to get frustrated!

     We've been very happy in our marriage.  There are days he absolutely makes me nutty (though I'm thinking that says more about me than Lyle) but he's so loving and respectful towards me that it makes it hard not to do everything I can to make him happy.  He's an optimistic person which is good for me since I tend to the realistic or borderline pessimistic point of view.  He's also very good with finances.  He makes sure we always have credit cards paid off and are saving money.  He has a credit score of like 790!  He's extremely physically healthy.  Especially for his body type and weight.  And he may not look it but he's very fast.  He will beat you in a race every time!  

     We tend to be strict parents, but not harsh.  Our kids do well with chores and punishments at our house because he's so constant with his parenting style.  We also like to have a lot of fun with the kids (as mentioned Lyle teases them endlessly and they adore it).  We think of fun activities or just sit around and talk with each other which is very enjoyable too.  We have funny kids.  He's an excellent husband and father.

     We've all heard the analogy of marriage is like being shackled to a ball and chain.  Well, if that's the truth, then lock me up and throw away the key.  I love being married to Lyle!

Laura

A Beginning

     What did you do for New Year's?  I went to bed early.  What a partier.  Can't hold me back; I can snore with the best of 'em...at least my husband can.  I'm more of the occasionally talking in my sleep type, and snorting while I laugh (yes, I actually do that sometimes).  But I digress.

     I've never been a big one to follow 'New Year Resolutions'.  But I can't deny that the idea of another year gone has me a bit nostalgic.  What have I done with the last year of my life?  And what do I want for the new one?  Though they aren't really resolutions, there are a few things I'd like to change and do better this year.  So here goes:

     Confession time.  I've been terrible with my scripture reading this year.  I do have a deep love for the scriptures and they've brought great comfort to me over and over again.  Doggone it, why can't it be easier to read them, then?  Pardon my strong language, folks!  Maybe the frustration comes from knowing that at other times I've engaged myself more in the stories and the words and knowing that I'm not still doing it the same makes me feel...unworthy? guilty?  Well, whatever it is, I have a desire to feast on them and enjoy the feeling I get from the scriptures more this year.  My favorite scriptures is 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, a reminder that I really do need the Lord and that if I let Him in, I do much better than I ever could all by myself.  Also, that the most special moments are not the times when everything's going right, but rather when things are going wrong,and yet I can feel the Lord with me and know that with His help, I will be able to handle them: For when I am weak, then am I strong.  And here's one I've been thinking of lately:  Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord."  Boy, you can say that again.  Interestingly, I have written beside this scripture in pen the words: He is in control.  I think sometimes I try to hard to put the Lord in a little box, one that I feel I can influence, and then SURPRISE!  He doesn't do what I wanted and I get angry or sad or shocked.  Will I ever learn that His way is the right way, even if I can't understand it?  I fervently hope so.

What I should want to be eating

     Second thing I'd like to work on is my diet.  I've been pretty horrible this holiday season eating gluttonously all the delicious snacks I can, and I've enjoyed it too.  But my body doesn't agree.  Funny how when you fill it with junk, it just don't work the same.  Also, my waistline certainly hasn't been improved by my stay in Sugarville.  A few months ago, Lyle and I went on a 17 day no carb, high protein and veggie diet which we enjoyed.  And I actually did a lot better than I thought I would without all the good eatin' stuff I was thinking about.  So, now we've decided to do it again.  This is day 2 of no carbs, good fruits and veggies and lean proteins.  I'm excited.  But I want a sweet taste in my mouth to end with...not sure of the solution to that one.  I decided to reflect my thoughts about what I can't eat onto my blog template for this month so I could enjoy them some way (notice the cupcake and ice cream cone at the top).  I'll even throw in a picture of candy to make me feel better!

What I actually want to eat

     The last thing I've been thinking about is letting go of some of my grief.  Sometimes I think I've done this well, but it seems that it never stays away long.  It's been a constant companion for the last few years and as part of my continual efforts to become the person I want to be, I need to change my attitude toward my infertility.  This is REALLY hard thing to do!  Even thinking about it makes my stomach clench.  Why is it that even though I know it's not good for me, I cling to it?  I think it has something to do with my ongoing fear of failing and directly linked to my self worth, which has always been a struggling point for me.  I also think it's hard for me to realize that saying, "it's okay that I'm not a mom" is not the same as saying, "I'm happy with never having a child".  Even though this will be a challenge, there's still an excitement in me to keep working on it.  I want to do this.  I want to be happy with the blessings I've been given.
     I like words.  There are times when scriptures or poetry strikes me and I see things in a new light because of the way someone has strung together a bunch of words.  So I tend to write these down when inspiration hits.  Here's some lyrics I've been thinking of this month.

What I Need

All I ever wanted,

All I ever dreamed of,

Everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for

Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given,

I've been given what I need.

A mansion on the hill or love like in the movies

Perfect little lives, where no one has a problem

Instead of all those things I thought I really wanted

I've been given what I need.

Even when I didn't understand,

When I thought you had no heart,

Thank you for rejecting my demand

And always giving me the better part.

All I ever wanted,

All I ever dreamed of,

Everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for

Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given

I've been given what I need.

Michael McLean

    I hope your New Year will be absolutely fabulous!  And good luck with your new goals!

Laura