Not to Brag, But...

Here's me blowing my own horn!

And now, folks, if you'll put your hands together for, well, ME!   
     I've meant to talk about some of my accomplishments at one point, so now's a good a time as any.  I realize that this might sound a bit prideful, so I've chosen to joke about it so I feel less uncomfortable doing this.  Although I've always struggled with my self worth and confidence, which is something I think may surprise some people, there are a few things in my life I've done that I'm proud of.  And I think I've the need to remind myself of them sometimes.
    I guess the first thing I'll touch on will be my clinical depression.  This is probably another surprise for people who recognize me as a smiling, outgoing person.  It runs in my extended family and I happen to be the recipient of this curse/blessing in my immediate family.  My dad suffered from it so I saw the effects of it first hand growing up.  Though I felt it even as a child it wasn't until I was a teenager that it became a huge problem.  Towards the end of high school it had gotten to the point where I couldn't function on a normal level.  For a number of years afterward it crippled me.  I had a hard time with relationships- it was a contributing factor in the dissolving of my first marriage.  I couldn't do things I wanted to- I was sent home from my mission early because of it.  There was even a suicide attempt.  Sufficed to say, it's been the biggest challenge of my life.  It took time and a great amount of help from the Lord to help me into a place where I realized that I had the power to change it.  I got a good therapist to help me and for the first time in my life forged a relationship with the Savior and with their help learned how to change my whole life, starting with my thinking patterns.  It's the hardest work I've ever done.  But I learned how to manage my depression and this is the thing I'm proudest of myself for.  It's something I'll always struggle with, but I know now where to look for peace and how to look at things differently.

     I graduated from Massage Therapy school.  Not to much after learning how to manage my depression, my sister died from cancer then my first marriage ended in divorce.  About a month later I enrolled in massage therapy school.  I had never gone to college, it wasn't possible for me right after high school.  But I needed something in my life to show myself what I could do.  It was a year long program.  I worked full time during the day and went to classes at night and halfway through the year started with clinicals at the college on weekends too.  It was really tiring but I stuck with it and graduated with a 4.0 from the school.  Though I haven't practiced in the workplace and it's been a long time, I still am proud of the work I put into it to strengthen my confidence that I can do hard things even when times are hard.

     A few months after I graduated from massage school, my mom approached me with a question.  She knew of a coworker who's daughter had kidney failure and needed a kidney.  My mother asked how I would feel about her donating to help this woman.  I was immediately thrilled.  We discussed it and I decided to be tested as well.  We both knew how it was to lose a loved one through disease.  And though Amy died from cancer and no one could have saved her, we knew that if someone would have been able to help her, we would have wanted that more than anything.  And now was our chance to help someone who was dying.  We both went in and were tested.  I ended up being the closes match and in Aug 2003 I gave a kidney to Beth.  It was a very humbling experience.  I know I did something wonderful for her, but I think I got more out of it than she did.  It was one time that I realized I was leaving the world a better place than I had found it.  I felt so blessed to be able to do this for her.  My mom wanted very much to still donate so through Intermountain Donor Services she donated through their Good Samaritan program in 2004.  People who want to donate a kidney but don't know someone who needs it can sign up and be tested.  Then they're able to donate to the person highest on the waiting list who is a match.  My sister Alyson felt strong enough about this as well that in 2007 she also donated through the Good Samaritan program.  If you're interested in learning more please go to: Intermountain Donor Services
     I've always been an active person.  I did dance all through junior high and high school and loved it.  In 2004 a friend approached me about trying out a Tae Kwon Do lesson with her.  I immediately loved it.  A chance to learn new moves with my body at the same time as learning how to defend myself was something I took to well.  I even ended up working for the studio for a few months recruiting and teaching.  It took a couple of years, which is pretty quick actually, and I received my black belt in Tae Kwon Do.  Though it's something I couldn't continue due to money and time, it was something I always loved and will remember for a long time.  It helped remind me of what a blessing it was to have a health body and to appreciate the ability to move it, to some extent, however I chose.  It was also very hard physically.  And it taught me another lesson in sticking something out when it's hard.

     The last accomplishment I guess I'd add is that of being a wife and a stepmom.  After my first failed marriage it was hard to prepare myself to be ready to marry again.  Though I was a different person now, it was a little intimidating thinking of trying to be a different kind of wife this time.  And I chose someone who already had kids.  That changes everything.  It was really difficult learning how to be a mother figure to kids who already had a mother.  It's still a big challenge sometimes.  I've learned a lot about getting along with different personalities through relationships with Lyle, the kids and their mother.  And I've learned lessons in how to love people even if they're not making the decisions you would.  I think this particular lesson will last many more years to come and I'm sure I'll have opportunities to learn much more.

Laura