Super Duper

 
 

   I found out this week that my husband has a super power.  That's right!  That's the only real way I can explain it.  It's happened numerous times in the past but I guess I needed just one more manifestation to truly see it for what it is.  Yesterday I got up and ran some errands then came home and for about 40 minutes I just sat and played the piano.  I took advantage of a little free time.  Then I got back up because, well, the laundry doesn't do itself (unfortunately).  As soon as I had that armful of laundry my phone rings and it's my husband calling.  He didn't call any time during the previous 40 minutes, just as soon as I had my hands full.  I'm really amazed at how he does it!  I can be doing absolutely nothing and the second I have to go to the bathroom and leave my phone in my room, he calls!  And if I don't answer he calls again!  Other times, I've had the neighbor kids at my door wanting me to get their ball that they kicked into my backyard and someone calls on the phone then the oven timer rings and Lyle thinks that's the appropriate moment to contact me.
     I thought at first he must have someone spying on me to tell him when the most annoying moment would be to phone me, but that theory has flaws.  No unaccounted for money going out of the account and I'm pretty sure of the times I'm alone in the house (no suspicious vehicles on the road either, or strangers hanging around).  Of course he could have cameras installed somewhere, but again, no money missing.  I've now come to realize it's a super power.  He ALWAYS knows the most imperfect moment to call me.  We laugh about it often.  In fact, yesterday after I called him back the first thing he asked was, 'were you on the toilet?'

  So here's the question: do I have superpowers?  If I do, what are they?  And if not, what would I want them to be if I did have any?  I asked a few of my friends for their opinions as to super powers.  Katie would like to be able to disappear at will.  I'd have to agree with Katie, invisibility looks pretty good to me (no pun intended). Briant would like to have super human strength and endurance.  Chastity would like to be able to fly...to escape to an exotic island when the world is bringing her down (Note to Chastity: if this super power develops, I fully expect you to TAKE ME WITH YOU!).  Sandra wants to be Elastigirl...(hahaha, I love this reason)...so she can be taller and reach tall things!  And Sam...really?  Any super power and you want X-ray vision to look at hot girls?  I'm not surprised.  Thanks for giving me a good laugh!  Annie wants to be a shape shifter...that might make it hard to recognize her sometimes, but I'm thinking I like this one.  I could shed those extra pounds that stay glued to my tummy and hips!  Apparently Lyle would like to produce money out of thin air.  Not bad, that one.

      So folks, what do you think my super power is?  I'm thinking along the lines of...being irritated at the speed of light.  Or maybe super sleeping?  How about Wonder Blog Woman?  Maybe not.  Well, here's some thoughts about super powers that came to my mind.

Telekinesis- you know, moving stuff with your mind.  Eh, maybe.  I see it would be fun to be able to smack the kids with a pillow without touching it and the look at them innocently.  Or if my husband was reaching for his towel while in the shower, to move it just out of reach.  But that could go to my head a little and I would want to use my powers for good, not evil.

Weather control- This would be useful.  It would never be too hot or too cold.  And I could finally make it snow, just on my lawn but not on my walks or the streets.  And I could bring on the rain when I wanted.  But I'd have to watch out for my temper.  I'd hate to accidentally strike people with lightning when they made me mad.

Time Travel- This is a tricky one.  If you would go back in time and change things, would you?  And if so what would you change?  What if like the butterfly effect,  you changed things and you came back and everything would be different?  I think I'm gonna pass on this one.  Too many what ifs.

Mind Reading- No thank you.  I don't want to know what other people think.  I have a hard enough time sorting out my own thoughts.

Super Reproduction- (bet you never thought of that one).  A few years ago at a family reunion we were about ready to start the Talent Show and my aunt Kama (who had 11 children) said, 'I can't do my only talent.  I can't get up on stage and have a baby while everybody watches'.  I laughed so hard!  Truly, I wonder if this power really does exist (I have a shrewd notion that the Duggar parents are both afflicted with it).  The infertile part of me thinks of Tevya in 'Fiddler on the Roof' when he says: May the Lord strike me with it, and may I never recover!  Note: He was talking about riches, not reproduction.  Also, I'm not sure I'd be still thinking that after a few kids.

Super Speed- Well, you'd never learn patience if you could do everything as fast as you want it (down side).  But on the other hand, you'd get everything you want really quickly (up side)!

Empath- I don't think I'd really like feeling how other people feel in addition to mine.  I think it would be pretty confusing.  Although you would certainly develop compassion much more quickly.

Wish Granting- You know, like a genie does.  What if you could give those closest to you everything they always wanted.  Pro or con?  Maybe a little of both?

Bulletproof- This one seems kind of superfluous to me.  As I've never been in a gunfight, I can't say I'd use it much.

Power Over Elements-  A fun one to imagine.  You'd always win in a snowball fight.  But I'd be afraid of accidentally setting someone on fire when I'm angry...maybe I could train myself to douse them with water instead...or blow them away?  That might work.

Teleportation- This one I'm on board with.  If someone just annoys me POOF!  I'm somewhere else instead.  Maybe the movie theatre, or Lagoon, or the chocolate factory, or Leatherby's...maybe this one would be a little more trouble than I bargain for.

Super Disco Dancing Girl- That's looking a little more like me.

I think after all, I might be the most like the PMS Avenger (watch the trailer).